Hold on a little Tighter…
Back in 2009 I was forced to leave my 30 year corporate career. It was in June of that year that I was diagnosed with Corporate Burnout, this in turn resulted in me suffering depression and severe anxiety. It was two days before Christmas 2009 that I found myself standing in the snow in my pink slippers, newly single (he decided that the 22nd December was a good day to walk), jobless (having had to leave my 30 year career through ill-health), in debt (as a result of losing my corporate salary) and homeless (having had to move out of my flat due to dry rot), in truth I was suicidal.
I remember feeling that life could never be positive again, the future was black, I felt alone, angry, sad and scared. I was heading towards a Christmas that marked the worst year of my life. I had no idea where I would end up, what I would do or indeed how I was ever going to get better. I actually remember thinking ‘I have forgotten how to be happy’, positive thoughts eluded me.
I was on medication and regularly seeing a counsellor but at that point as I shivered in the coldness of the day it appeared not even these could help.
Why am sharing this today?
Because September 10th 2020 marked ‘National Suicide Prevention’ day and I want to give others hope
I can honestly say it wasn’t always an easy journey back up, I often stumbled but managed to pick myself to get back on the journey of recovery again. I trained as a coach to start my own business in 2010, once the dry rot was cleared I then decorated my apartment from top to bottom over three months to get it ready to sell and I constantly read books to work on myself so that I could learn how to change my thought patterns and therefore my life.
In 2012 my book ‘Made it thru the Rain’ was published in which I share my journey through those dark days and how I turned it around.
I now live back in my home village where the support of my family and friends is invaluable. I am in a long term relationship with someone I describe as my rock; I work as an author, a speaker, a mentor and well-being consultant through my own successful business; I volunteer for various separate organisations; I live life with gratitude, faith and belief knowing that it is possible to get back up when you have hit rock bottom.
If I had been told back then in 2009 that the experiences I had gone through would make me stronger and would lead to the blessed life I have today I would never have believed it, in truth it seemed impossible.
So if your path this year (and with lockdown it has not been easy for so many), has left you in a dark place please know not ‘it is not forever’ and you are not alone, reach out to others, look for the things you have in your life to be grateful for and never lose sight of them.
I know from experience it is a tough journey and it hurts but trust me once you are through it you will come to see life as a gift. Hold onto today, let yesterday go and hold onto hope for tomorrow.
Today ten years on I love life, I thank all those family and friends who stood beside me and held my hand; I thank all those who believed in me and helped me along the path when I stumbled and I thank my faith that always taught me that if you hold on just a little tighter you can ride this rollercoaster which we call life, I promise there is there light in the sky of hope.
It is my dearest hope reader that you aren’t where I was in 2009 however if you are or if you know someone that is, PLEASE share my story so that I can give them the gift of hope.
I am no super human and if I can turn it around I know in my heart others can too.
